Change... and you will see the change

How many times have you thought about changings something in your life? Maybe, looking fir a better job, propose lose these extra pounds, to continue studying, modify some aspect of your personality that harm you and to people that you love and you do realize that in the end have not done anything.

Most people try to change everyone and everything, trying them to do and be, as they want, thinking that this way will find happiness. Change, change and change! How selfish we are! We are so selfish that sometimes we require to others what we do not do. Life is what it is, people are what they are! And all our desires, pain and suffering can not change that. Is better if you change!

But.., why it is so difficult to change? Human beings are creatures of habit and sometimes changes scare us and we prefer the known to the unknown, even when the known is not making us happy. This is way most people lengthen to make decisions even though they known that the change will benefit them. Most of the changes normally arise when unusual different circumstances appear in our life and we think if we should modify something in our personalities. Among them, could be a divorce, illness, loss of loved one or an honest and painful discussion with someone important in our life. 

In other occasions people find limited and are afraid to change aspects of their lives because they believe they are not capable. They hear that inner voice that tells them, “You will fail,” “you are not enough,” “you can not do it by yourself.” It is like a broken record that most often comes from situations or people from the past and has nothing to do with the reality of their present. 

Once you are really deciding to change, identify the habit that bothers you and you want to change. Most people already have identified the habits and attitudes that want to improve, being those that cause problems in their interpersonal relationships, in coexistence with others or behaviors that they do not satisfied them. It is very important that you define what to want to change and the discomfort that caused you that behavior. The first step will help you clarify and decide what you will do and what is the plan for the change. At this stage it is also important to look within yourself to find the truth of what is blocking you for that change to occur. It is possible that in this exploration you find that the greatest obstacle is you!

To change and modify behaviors is not easy and in many cases can be very difficult, but I assure you that it is possible. If you are not convinced of that I propose you an exercise that will help you see that changes are uncomfortable but not impossible. Try to brush your teeth with the no dominant hand and pay attention to how you feel. These feelings to greater or lesser extent you will experience when you make any other changes in your life. As the days pass, you will notice that you feel more comfortable and the feelings you had before will disappear. 

Most people want to get different results behaving the same way. If you are one of them, I tell you… nothing changes if you do not change! If you really want a change, you are the one who needs to change! 

About the author
Dr. Uberto Mondolfi
Author: Dr. Uberto MondolfiWebsite:
Chairman and Managing Partner. Clinical Director.
Dr. Mondolfi is Clinical Director at uleru INSTITUTE in charge of development and implementation of its clinical program. In addition, he is the Primary Therapist and responsible for client psychotherapeutic services.


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